General

Birthday Reflections

Birthday

It’s the eve before my birthday and I reflect like every year where I am in my life where I’m going and if it’s where I want to be. Except this year, I think if I’m doing the things I promised I would do as the mother of a 3-year-old.

She’s wild and free and curious and connected. She is well travelled adaptable loving and spirited she’s amazing. I’m afraid of the same things for her as I am for myself; consumption, excess, lack of simplicity. And loosing sense of identity before she has the opportunity to even recognise what one is in a world where few people actually know who they are what they are capable of and what gifts they have to offer the world.

We are Exactly where we need to be… with the universe and with each other deeply in love.

The thing about being social…

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So I’ve been doing my bit with social media lately and it’s taken me a while to accept that this is me learning to push through a glass ceiling. Putting myself out there and giving myself a voice. It’s a difficult one for me because I’m a hippy at heart and very much about the touchy feely stuff. I love real deep and honest conversations and don’t like engaging much in small talk.

I find it hard to relate to a world that’s all about the outside and has forgotten about the inside. Yet social media just reinforces the pretence, happy smiling faces that go up every time we manage to capture it on camera and smiling in such a fulfilled way every time we get another like. (Well I go back to check over and over again and feel so happy that my picture got so much attention! Ohh the shame of it…)

In all honesty being social these days leaves me feeling inadequate, insecure and unsure of myself.

I work hard to present the best of myself, you just have to ask my mother and my husband the truth about who I really am!

So I seem to know what everyone is up to, whose birthday I missed, whose grandmother died that I didn’t even know was alive, who had the baby girl they wanted and who’s off jet setting on that holiday that I’m so envious of.

However much I love E-mojis, I feel really uncomfortable with the fact that showing you care is getting a text message with a heart and smiley face emoji rather than, when did we get so busy we didn’t even have time for a coffee and a hug to hear about what life’s really been like?

So here’s the truth about my life which goes beyond the images I post on social media;

1. Working with your husband how did that pan out?

2. Getting used to being homeless wtf?

3. Being social the real challenge?

Well wouldn’t you like to know?

I never say no to a coffee and a hug because for me that’s the best kind of ‘being social’ there is.

I learn the most when I can connect with people’s emotions, their personal journeys and the challenges they have lived through to make their life possible. I love it. I’m lucky to have lots of people around me who I can learn from about a life and business that I might be struggling with. It helps me get so much closer to my sunshine.

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