So I spent the majority of my life failing. I was the student at school who got 184 unauthorised absences in my first year of A Levels. Other students laughed at me, teachers tutted and me because I should have been in A level chemistry instead of the art room, my parents washed their hands off me on the education front. Nothing ever inspired me unless it was creative. Then I was an A* I didn’t even have to try.
So an A* 2 E’s and an N (near pass) should have screamed something to the world. I was bloody good at being creative. Not how useless I was at everything else!
I always told myself it was ok to be fantastic at one thing even if the rest of the world didn’t agree. Who cares about biology and chemistry now?
I can’t say I regret that I never thought it was worth the effort to even try. The years I wasted believing I was worth less than average and hating everything about the education system and those who fell into the trap of playing the game. Telling themselves that a non-science degree wouldn’t quite cut it in the real world.
It wasn’t until I got accepted into Central Saint Martins that I realised what my education was always about and I could learn to be bold brave and be supported in my vision to go against the grain and do things differently. Look deeper into meaning and be confident with doing things my way.
I found inspiration on the floors of nightclubs, overseas execrations and chats over coffees with a likeminded tribe of people. It was only when I was playing that I found my true inspiration. People still find that hard to grasp. That do you mean you only trade two days a week? What do you mean you’re spending 3 months in Asia? What do you mean you love Monday mornings?
I have always had a very clear vision of what success looked like to me and when I love what I do the most with people who get it is when real magic happens. It’s something you can’t put a price on. And only that tribe of people will only ever understand it’s never about the money but about pushing as hard and as far as you can to create something amazing.
I have haven’t been running away from conformity all my life because I feel like a failure in the system. I have been seeking the sunlight in a world that supports my magic and believes that failing is a part of getting to the best parts of who you are.
Is it a wonder that I feel like I’m winning all the time?
If I’m not failing I’m not really living. In that case How else would I get closer to my sunshine?