I promised myself I would never be one of those sad mums who posts about their kid all the time, yet I am. It’s hard to resist the control of being a cool mum when you carry so much love in your heart for this creature that occupies and expands your universe in so many different directions.
She is the star of my universe yet I’m determined not to let her be the star of my life.
I always wanted to be the star of my life, and while I’m willing to sacrifice and compromise a lot of things I will never sacrifice the ‘me’ I promised I would always be.
I have lost myself and found myself 1000 times since being a mother for no other reason except what is expected as society’s ‘norm’ but I’m always happiest when I am persuing my own visions, goals and ambitions.
When I’m happier she glows and giggles and dances more.
Everyone does so I know it’s a good thing.
The last thing I would want for Aanya is to give up her identity because motherhood takes over, it has taken me many lifetimes to figure out who I am and what I want for my life, and as long as I am growing there will always be more…
As a mother, you just get stronger and more capable if you fight for what you always were. You are extra lucky if you have the support of people who recognise that and allow you time to hold on to the you were always meant to be.
So she’s at nursery now three half day a week and I’m determined to make the most of every second that gives me so I can sleep at nights instead of spend my time working.
I’m looking forward to Aanya being the star of her life while she ventures out and finds her own love adventures and plays
At the same time, as re-connecting to the star that lives in me. It helps me get closer to my sunshine.